MISFIT BLING : HOW TO SPOT A SCUMBRO ON A STREET CORNER NEAR YOU
Whether you like it or not Scumbro is the hottest trend for young men these days and (unfortunately) doesn’t seem like it’s going away any time soon. A term made popular by the Vanity Fair team the Scumbro look is about looking like trash while wearing a mismatched outfit composed of big brand name articles like Gucci and Supreme, or even urban chic street wear such as Nike and Adidas, you-name-it, as long as the total look is a combination of highly expensive brand name items turning one into a small-town misfit of sorts.
Call it Misfit Bling.
Key here is MISFIT, because a Pro Scumbro will usually wear pieces of garments which are way too big, oversized, extra flashy, loaded with animal or other useless patterns, but will always show off clearly the name of a distinguished brand for all too see. Imagine greasy hair topped with a hat and a pair of pool sliders (with socks please!) as the extravagant elements which complete an untidy and washed up look.
Thankfully for a while we had gotten away from weird trends such as the Hipster – too many beards out there – but somehow with Scumbro we are now ending up with worse – something beyond juvenile and stupid, something ugly, unrefined, tasteless, and without any style at all perhaps, and useless to boot. Yes, now looking back, we do appreciate the plaid shirts, beards and black skinny jeans when it was still a thing, but today this new menswear trend would perhaps make us wish that fashion police was a real thing. For every Scumbro should be arrested for probable cause.
No, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing clothes which might be a bit too wide for you, or wearing super flashy garment, no really, there is nothing wrong with wanting attention, because we all somehow need to survive in this world where too much style is an overkill. No, but, you see, where the real problem lies for me is when people mix fashion items or garments and brands which don’t match, line up, complement or combine well at all. Because a faux-juvenile who says:
“I put this all together without really thinking about it”
… is nonsense of course, because we know you did spend a lot of time thinking about it because even a real youngster choosing an outfit on his own for the day could have done a better job.
And thus Scumbro attire might make you look like a hobo who’s selling junk in the corner of a parking lot while yet weirdly you still need to be able to afford this look, so that the more oversize and the flashier that you dress it no longer matters, because you don’t look ridiculous as long as we can clearly see the name of a plethora of expensive brands blazoned across your every item except across your brow as if this were an unexpected celebrity interview conducted on the spot with a posh press background board of brands usually not accessible to most people. It’s Jerry Springer meets Rolex, and the Salvation Army meeting Louis Vuitton.
So, if you do have a friend who still dresses like a teenager and who hasn’t taken a shower in days and who looks like he put on the first clothes he found lying around in his room without showing any big brand names, then please give this person a helping hand because it is more than likely than not that he doesn’t know about the Scumbro trend and is just having a hard time in life.
However, if you do spot all of th’m fancy posh brand names on your friend who dressed like that then by all means confront your friend with the following quote by Dolly Parton because of course it is quite paradoxical to pay that much to look that much like a complete loser:
“It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.”
Examples of well-known Scumbros living on this planet today are Justin Bieber, of course Shia Laboeuf, or perhaps Jonah Hill, but the king of them all has to be the American actor-comedian Pete Davidson. Because although he goes shopping with famous personal shopper Eye’ Tal France for a make-overs and was engaged to Ariana Grande who knows how to dress, he still manages every to dress up like a 13-year-old every day.
For today juvenile local small-town misfits rule.
Article: Sassinèss
Photo credits: Marcelo Burton County of Milan / MSGM
